


Re:Birth|Unsolved

by HeadphonesLynx



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa Re:Birth
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Based On Buzzfeed Unsolved, Crack, Forgive Me, Gen, If I continue, Inspired by the beautiful amount of shitpost on the Fan Re:birth Channel, Lots of it, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pretend that the Re:Birth class is the 76th class because Fuck Canon, Seriously please do, This is literally me taking Buzzfeed Unsolved and using Re:Birth Characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-13 00:29:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18457772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeadphonesLynx/pseuds/HeadphonesLynx
Summary: Inspired by a video of the same name.Hope's Peak Academy students Akira Tsuchiya and Marin Mizuta co-host a series called Re:Birth|Unsolved in which Marin's Weatherwoman skills and Akira's Internet skills aid them in trying to prove that the supernatural is real (despite having a literal spirit medium in their class) and 'solving' unsolved crimes.This (surprisingly) ends up exploding over the internet.Shenanigans ensue.





	1. The Beginnings of Something Terrible

 It was a normal day in Hope's Peak Academy as the 76th class lounged around in their homeroom class, waiting for their teacher to return so that they could continue learning how to become the world's newest hope, but Akira Tsuchiya, the Ultimate NEET decided it was a good time to bring up the idea he had last night.

 

"You know, I feel like investigating spirits."  Marin Mizuta, the Ultimate Weather Forecaster, who was nearby him looked confused.

"Big sis wants to know what you mean by that. ( ・◇・)？" Akira simply smirked.

"I found a trend online about a nearby house that's apparently haunted.  Wanna go check it out?"  The grin on his face widened.  Marin did not like that.  At all.

"Why are you inviting me then, poka poka?"

"You know your way around a camera, right?" A nod. "Then you can help me record and become my co-host."

"(ﾟДﾟ；)!!!  Big sis isn't sure she'd be a good camerawoman though!"

 "Well then, you're my co-host then!"

"Eh?!"

 

* * *

 

And that was how Marin found herself with the robotic portable camera (Courtesy of the Mechanic in class 77 and the Inventor in class 79) following her classmate as he attempted to prove the supernatural in the middle of an abandoned house and it was _very very dark_ which did not help at all with the amount of pure _fear_ she was feeling at the moment.

 

The house was a normal abanded house, as cobwebs and dust flew around wherever the two stepped on the grainy floor that had most definitely never been cleaned in a couple of years.  The duo was currently in the kitchen, prodding at the abandoned stovetop and looking around in the darkness with only a couple of flashlights, a robotic camera and a small water gun filled with holy water (Thanks to Saiji Rokudou, the Ultimate Undertaker) to try and find a demon.

 

The fact that Akira had decided to mock the demons was not helping that as well.

 

”Dëmon?  Dëmon!”

”Stop calling them that! (´；Д；`)"

 

Luckily Marin at the very least had the foresight to seek out the Ultimate Shrine Maiden, their classmate Misuzu Aisaka, and ask her to put a protection spell on them so they wouldn’t die, but from the way Misuzu’s face looked when Akira had explained why they needed it, she was fairly certain that they had a very high chance of dying.

 

”But I just wanna talk to the Demons!"

"Noooo...Big sis is scared...o(;△;)o"

"We have a friend named Aisaka...She said that we were going to die to you guys but HAhAH!  You can't kill someone who's already dead inside!"

"Big sis wonders if you're okay... Ó╭╮Ò"

 

Akira simply cackled, before setting a flashlight on the very dusty counter.

 

"Alright demons, If you like us, turn the light on!"

No light.

Marin sighed in relief, but that was short lived.

 

"If you don't like us, then turn the light on!"

The light turned on.

 

"AGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!  NOOOOOO!!!"

"GYA HAHAHA HAHAHA!"

"NOOOOOOO ((◎д◎　))!!!!"

The Ultimate Weather Forecaster turned a very impressive white, screaming while the Ultimate NEET began to laugh in the face of what was most likely an angry supernatural entity who had just confirmed they did not like the duo in the house.

 

"Alright, Alright.  If you really want us to get out, then turn off the light."

"Big sis thinks you're out of your mind, poka poka...(ㄒoㄒ)"

 

There was no reaction from the flashlight, as Akira went in to investigate it further.

 

"This demon can't even turn off a light!  HA!"

"Please stop provoking them...(/□＼*)"

 

As he neared the light, the light slowly began to dim down, before turning off completely.

 

"..."

"..."

"aaaaAAAAAHHHH-"

* * *

 

 

Later, Kasumi Izumo, the Ultimate Spirit Medium would swear that there was an angry spirit in the dorms.


	2. Supernatural Episode 1:The Haunted Sally House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The episode finally releases, which explodes overnight.
> 
> Kasumi is simply confused.

"We're on!"  Called out one of their classmates. Ayumu Fujimori, alongside most of the class, had agreed to help film the show.  Even with his terrible luck (which was the main reason he was accepted to Hope’s Peak anyway) Ayumu always wanted to help as much as possible.  He held up several fingers, counting down until the two people sitting next to the desk with bookcases behind them.  The rest of their class, excluding Kasumi who had something to attend to, were around the living space of their dorms ready with either cameras, background props, or lights in the improved studio.

 

"3..."

"2..."

"1..."

"We're Live!"

 

"Hello, and welcome to the first episode of Re:Birth|Unsloved!  Big Sis is here to talk about scary monsters and crimes!"

"And I'm Akira Tsuchiya.  Like Marin said, welcome to this show...I guess."

"And with that, let's talk about the show in general,  _poka poka_ ~"

"Right,  This show is mainly to talk about the unsolved, like the supernatural and the unsolved crimes that plague humanity.  While I don't care much for true crime, an... _associate_ of ours would only help us if we agreed to cover this topic."

 

In the background, while holding up one of the studio lights, Seshi Yodogawa snickered, before getting whacked on the head by the unofficial director Mikoto Itsuki for making noise off-set.  

 

"Lighten up!  What he's basically saying is that we talk about all kinds of unsolved mysteries here, poka poka!"

 "Yeah, Yeah.  Anyway, let's just get into it.

 

_Traveling to an abanded house in our neighborhood, the Sally house is said to be haunted by a demon who tortured several families before it was condemned.  We managed to travel into the jaws of the demon's territory before it was destroyed._

 

"Big sis really didn't like this house at all, (T_T)"

"Hahahahahaha!  I had fun, and the viewers are going to find out why soon!"

 

~~~~~~~~~~

Standing in front of a house, Akira looked at the house before knocking on the door.

"Hello???"

"Don't bully the spirits any more than you already have, poka poka."  Marin said, crying a bit, while her face looked very uneasy, considering that they were trespassing.

"Don't worry!  You haven't lived until you've broken a couple of laws!"  Akira smirked at Marin, who cried a little more before the words finally hit her.

"Don't encourage our viewers to break the Law!!"

~~~~~~~~~~

_Many who witnessed the Sally house's haunting say that it was a demon who took the form of a little girl that terrorized them.  In fact, one witness says that the demon scratched him when he was sleeping._

_~~~~~~~~~~_

"We're currently in the kitchen, where witnesses say this is where the demon was most active.  Hopefully, we can prove these exists."

"Big sis doesn't think this is a good idea..."

"Alright then let me call out to the demons!"

"WAIT NO-∑(ﾟﾛﾟ〃)"

~~~~~~~~~~

_To put it simply, the Sally house should remain unsolved._

_~~~~~~~~~~_

"Dëmon?  Dëmon!"

"Stop calling them that! (´；Д；`)"

”But I just wanna talk to the Demons!"

"Noooo...Big sis is scared...o(;△;)o"

"We have a friend named Aisaka...She said that we were going to die to you guys but HAhAH!  You can't kill someone who's already dead inside!"

"Big sis wonders if you're okay... Ó╭╮Ò"

"Alright demons, If you like us, turn the light on!"

"..."

"If you don't like us, then turn the light on!"

The light flashed on.

"AGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!  NOOOOOO!!!"

"GYA HAHAHA HAHAHA!"

"NOOOOOOO ((◎д◎　))!!!!"

"*huff* *huff* alright, alright.  If you really want us to get out, then turn off the light."

"Big sis thinks you're out of your mind, poka poka...(ㄒoㄒ)"

The light flickered a bit before finally turning off.

"..."

"..."

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

"HAHAHAHH HA  HAHAHHA (wheeze) HAHHA!"

Marin held out a water gun, with a label of 'Holy water Spritz' waving it around erratically, while Akira fell onto the floor laughing.

"please...let's go, poka poka... ( ; ╭╮;)"

"Fine...(wheeze) fine..."

Suddenly, the light turned on again.

"NOOOOOOO!! (ｉДｉ)"

"BWAH WA HAHAH AHAHHAHAH(wheeze) HA!" 

_~~~~~~~~~~_

"And that was what happened in the house!"

"Big sis hopes we never have to go into the house again..."

"Well, you're in luck.  The house is now demolished."

"Big sis wonders if we can really declare this solved..."

"Well, for then, the case of the sally house remains..."

"Unsolved."

_~~~~~~~~~~_

After the video with 3 million views ended, Kasumi leaned back in the chair in shock as some spirit friends looked at the video that had just played, before finally speaking up.

"What the fuck was that."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone can tell me what Marin calls everybody that would be awesome
> 
> Also I'll just be going the kinda canon route and Ayumu's still a crossdresser but everybody knows he's a guy and they call him via female pronouns when he's crossdressing
> 
> If you're wondering, yes. They did break some laws but to be fair hopes peak is literally having a yakuza heir and serial killer attend, so this was overlooked.
> 
> Edit 5/5/19: Pray to our lord and savior Danganronpa Re:Birth voices as they have given me CHARACTER INTERACTION. Also this was rushed bc I had been writing this for like 2+ hours, forgot to save, so I may edit it with more content.
> 
> Chapter 3 is the First True Crime episode so watch out for that!!! And who knows when it'll be out ;)


End file.
